Michelle Martin

Prayers for the road

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Driving is an intensely social act.

That fact has been brought home to me these past few months as Frank has been learning to drive.

I’ve spent countless rides in the passenger seat watching my 16-year-old son navigate first side streets and then main streets. I was with him the first time he drove on the expressway, on a Sunday morning, and when he drove an hour out to Geneva, Illinois, for a hockey game — which he played in, and then drove home in the dark.

And I’m not going to make any jokes about how the experience of helping Frank l learn to drive has left me praying in fear for my life because really, he’s a pretty good driver, and he’ll only get better with experience.

What I’ve noticed, though, is how often he, and every other driver out there, has to interact with their fellow motorists. There’s the communication of turn signals and brake lights, of course, but there’s also eye contact and nods and waves and simply hanging back for an extra beat to allow someone into a lane.

In many ways, Frank is doing what I told him to do when he first took to the streets on his bike: be visible, and be predictable. Signal your intentions in any way you can. Make eye contact with drivers so you know they see you.

No one wants to get into an accident, after all.

As a driver, operating a vehicle that can do significantly more damage than a bicycle, the responsibility is different, and there’s added advice. Don’t be in a hurry. If you can let someone in ahead of you without disrupting the flow of traffic, do. Make sure you’re not cutting anyone off. Make allowances for the mistakes of other drivers. Use patience. Take turns where appropriate. And always, always pay attention to what you are doing and to the people around you.

As I’ve been sitting in the passenger seat and watching the cars and trucks around us, I’ve noticed that most drivers, most of the time, seem to operate under a similar set of principles. If you indicate that you want to change lanes in heavy traffic, someone will usually let you in. Some people will barge ahead at a four-way stop, but most wait their turn. Nearly everyone is looking out for the people around them.

It’s not completely altruistic; as I said, no one wants to get into an accident. It’s also not without exception. Some people are impatient, some seem to think the road belongs only to them, some are downright reckless. But they are the exception, not the rule.

Next month, I expect Frank will get his driver’s license, and I won’t be with him for all the drives to hockey practice and friends’ houses and work. I’ll have to take it on faith that he will keep driving the way he’s been taught, and that he won’t be hurt by someone else’s carelessness.

So maybe today would be a good day to start praying to St. Christopher, the patron of motorists and other travelers.

Topics:

  • family
  • michelle martin
  • travel
  • saint christopher
  • teenagers

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